Attention: Mr. Bill Bryson
Living on the Big Island
Dear Sir.
I was heading down to our new loo recently with my well worn copy of A Short History of Everything under my arm. Let me hasten to assure you that the book was for reading and no other purpose. (Also please do not feel insulted, I reserve some of my best reading on the loo)
I am into my fourth read of the book.
I managed to understand at least 80% of what you were explaining in my first read. And then promptly forgot about three quarters of it within a two day period. I find that the 20% of the facts that I can recall from your book don’t quite get me though a decent discussion at a dinner party. (By the way, I am amazed by how few people, while eating their soup, actually know what percentage weight of their pillows are made up by dead skin and mites)
Living on the Big Island
Dear Sir.
I was heading down to our new loo recently with my well worn copy of A Short History of Everything under my arm. Let me hasten to assure you that the book was for reading and no other purpose. (Also please do not feel insulted, I reserve some of my best reading on the loo)
I am into my fourth read of the book.
I managed to understand at least 80% of what you were explaining in my first read. And then promptly forgot about three quarters of it within a two day period. I find that the 20% of the facts that I can recall from your book don’t quite get me though a decent discussion at a dinner party. (By the way, I am amazed by how few people, while eating their soup, actually know what percentage weight of their pillows are made up by dead skin and mites)
I have thus promised myself that I would read your book at least twice this year. Slowly, and with furrowed brow. This should get me up to about a 50% recall of the fat presented, and that sir, should see me through a good dinner discussion, or at least until dessert is served.
Anyway, back to my visit to the loo and my dilemma.
The problem that I experienced had to do with my wife.
On my second visit, to what was planned to be am oasis of quiet time in the chaos of a three children household, I noticed that my book was missing once the show had got underway as it were.
Anyway, back to my visit to the loo and my dilemma.
The problem that I experienced had to do with my wife.
On my second visit, to what was planned to be am oasis of quiet time in the chaos of a three children household, I noticed that my book was missing once the show had got underway as it were.
Needless to say this upset my routine awfully and something that I was really looking forward to, turned out to be a very ordinary experience indeed.
Afterwards, having made a more thorough search, I found the book, pushed down between a wash basket and the wall.
I suspect this was no accident as there is a member of my family who frowns at and looks down upon my particular reading habits.
I carefully monitored my wife’s next visit.
She hypocritically also carried a book in with her. Careful detective work on my part proved that the book was a Xhosa Speaking course that we are both meant to be studying.
Yes, in short, homework.
Now homework is obviously important in anybodies life. But I would as soon take homework to the loo as I would take it to some other pleasant and peaceful event, like a trip to the cinema. It makes no sense.
Afterwards, having made a more thorough search, I found the book, pushed down between a wash basket and the wall.
I suspect this was no accident as there is a member of my family who frowns at and looks down upon my particular reading habits.
I carefully monitored my wife’s next visit.
She hypocritically also carried a book in with her. Careful detective work on my part proved that the book was a Xhosa Speaking course that we are both meant to be studying.
Yes, in short, homework.
Now homework is obviously important in anybodies life. But I would as soon take homework to the loo as I would take it to some other pleasant and peaceful event, like a trip to the cinema. It makes no sense.
(I am prepared to admit that there may be an argument for me to learn Xhosa, although I will not being using a structured study approach, but rather plan to free my unconscious mind, to allow me to suddenly begin to understand a foreign indigenous language.
Instantly, and out of the blue.
Anyway. This is my plan. And it is my business.
And my choice of reading matter is also my own business.Instantly, and out of the blue.
Anyway. This is my plan. And it is my business.
However, in the interests of meeting my wife half way, to the crux. Please could you and your publishers consider including an abridged English-Xhosa dictionary at the back of your next print run of A Short History of Everything.
I cannot imagine I am the only one in this predicament.
Who knows, it might even boost sales.
In the meantime, I have removed pages 83 to 127 from our Oxford English-Xhosa dictionary (Flower/intyatyambo to Monday/uMvulo) and pasted them in the back of your book.
This is obviously not ideal, as general aesthetic and practical issues aside, I also lost quite a few words when I trimmed the dictionary pages to be the same size as your paperback.
Even though I am sure my wife will be happy to see that I am making a move in the right direction I feel the only real answer will be getting a move on with the new print run.
Lets shake a leg.
Yours in appreciative reading.
Hamba Gashle
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